Please don't you be very long

Today I wore a red Indian tunic type thing that I got in Egypt. It was pretty much the center of all my conversations at the tutoring center. (Oh and it doesn't really look like the above picture, but I'm too lazy to take an actual picture.)

"Miss Stewart!!! You look pretty all in reeeeed!" shouted Hannah as I walked in. She is always telling me this sort of thing. She is definitely one of my favorites (not just because of the constant compliments...I'm sure she has other qualities.)

And then, an hour later, came my favorite conversation of the day. Nathan Vo – not nefarious Nathan, a different one – looked at me and asked me very seriously if I was wearing Satan red.

"What?" I felt like I was missing something.
"Is that Satan red?" he was smiling, intent on getting an answer.
"Are you color blind?" I didn't know what else to say.
"Is it Satan red?" he insisted, ignoring my question.
"Satan red? I don't know." At this point he realized that I found his question bizarre.
"Well, what does "s" "a" "t" "i" "n" mean?"
"Satin? Nathan, satin is a type of material."
"Ohh. Okay, I thought it might be like the red you're wearing."
"No. This isn't satin."
"Oh. Okay." He went back to his work. I felt strange.

Other notable red tunic comments:
"Miss Stewart why are you wearing red?"
"Why aren't you wearing red, Jason?"
"I am!" (He was.)

Andrew: Miss Stewart! Why are you wearing an Indian shirt if you're Arabic?

Andrew also asked me if I knew how to text. I gave him a withering look.
"What do you think?"
"Well last time I asked you, you asked me how old you looked."
"Oh...did I?"
"Yeah, you did."
"Well, how old do I look?"
"But I don't just want to text. I want to know all the abbreviations and slang and emoticons. You know, the little smiley faces."
"I know what emoticons are, Andrew."
"Yeah, well no one I know will teach me."
"What problem do you need help with?" I asked, glancing at his math homework.

It's so nice to have that line as a guarantee subject change. Because when you're technically never supposed to be having a casual conversation with someone, it's really easy to have an out. I'm still trying to implement this in my everyday life:

Man at gas station: Will you go out with me sometime?
Me: Have you finished your reading?

Okay, so it needs some polishing, but I think it'll be life changing.

Today's Article was shown to me by my friend Edmund who has a secret blog which he is unwilling to share with anybody. I don't actually believe it exists. The article, however does – it's about how blogging is good for your health. Like, cancer healing good for your health.

"Research shows that it improves memory and sleep, boosts immune cell activity and reduces viral load in AIDS patients, and even speeds healing after surgery."

So add that to your cheerios diet.

**
Two of my four readers happen to be named Emma. This is rather unfortunate, and I've been getting confused because both of you apparently channel your real life sarcasm onto the internet very smoothly.

Also, I've noticed an "M" theme to the places my family frequents and lives. Morocco, Michigan, Missouri, Montana. (Okay, so Montana isn't completely legit – we all have t-shirts from there!)

**

Quote of the Day:

"I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.

After that I liked jazz music.

Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.

I used to not like God because God didn't resolve. But that was before any of this happened."

– Don Miller, Blue Like Jazz

I really like Miller's writing style. I also like that this quote reminds me of "About a Boy" when Hugh Grant complains about Marcus and his mum closing their eyes while singing "Killing Me Softly." And then later he ends up onstage singing it – far too long – with his eyes closed. Beautiful.

just for this moment

(click to enlarge)

My kids eat off the floor.

And I get strange looks for calling them my kids. (Not from them – I don't do it to their faces.) But that's what teachers do, they refer to "their" kids. It somehow makes storytelling easier. And I really shouldn't be teased by my cousin over this – she obsessively caters to her chihuahua, Evie, calling her "my little black person." At least my children have the knowledge between right and wrong, and the language to express it. (Of course, in cousin's opinion, Evie has these skills and more.)

I just looked up what Google thinks separates us from animals and humans, and I found an interesting page. Well, it's not that interesting, but I quite enjoyed number six:

"6. Anxiety over death. Humans–especially Kierkegaard–worry about what happens to them after they die."

Especially Kierkegaard, huh? Not that I'm disputing the assertion, it just seemed like they were going for more general answers. I mean, humans have opposable thumbs – especially Da Vinci.

Speaking of weird names and Google searches, apparently the latest celebrity trend is naming their children really generic names. That way they can't be tracked down as easily as, oh MoonUnit and Dweezle Zappa. I initially found this idea upsetting – I like my world properly ordered, and if I'm expected to mindlessly fawn over celebrities like they're a different species, I would prefer that they have distinctive names to add to their mystique.

**

Back to my children, though. They (or the six year olds anyways) really do prefer eating off the dubiously colored carpet at the learning center. And not on little plastic plates or containers, no, they take bags and containers of snacks and dump them out directly onto the ground. This week they gave up on any pretense of humanity and took turns begging like dogs for each other's snacks. One kid would scramble after another on his hands and knees, pretending to pant and beg for a snack. The other "human" would toss a snack for his buddy to go fetch. Yes, on the carpet. The carpet which has seen stale mushy snacks, various bug collections, pants wetting, etc.

**

A hobby of the older students is changing the names of the desktop icons. One of the kids alerted me to a completely altered desktop, and I had quite an amusing time changing the labels back. The "Internet Explorer" icon had been changed to "Brian is so fat he was baptized in Sea World." "Excel" was now "Daniel Yi likes men." You get the point.

I was telling a friend of mine some of my kids' more ridiculous shenanigans and she laughed and told me that I was the type of teacher that had driven us crazy when we were young. Yeah, probably. I'm Miss Wormwood, Mr. Feeny, etc. It's just not as fun when you aren't directly involved/held unaccountable for your actions. I guess I'm just not magical anymore.


Quote of the Day: "Fairy Tales to rummage sales, we all love a dream."

-Darden Smith, Austin singer/song writer

Hear the bells ringing

They're singing "Christ is risen from the dead." Happy (late) Easter:)

Today's Article: Is a New York Times piece concerning the psychology and evolution of reading. It discusses why people love fiction and the "theory of the mind" – why we enjoy understanding others' mental states.

***
If you thought you were technologically behind...

Within the past year, I have met adults who were discovering for the first time:

- predictive texting
-digital cameras
-setting individual ringtones
-what the term "desktop" means

Skill I want:
The ability to make a cake like this:
















Video you MUST watch:

Zack Efron as Troy in High School Musical 2 singing "Bet on it."



I'm still debating which dance move is my favorite...Any opinions? I like it when he suddenly drops to the ground (0:23) and slowly comes up with new angst; but the pounding fist/release action at 0:42 is amazing too...and 2:58 is almost indescribable.

Anyways, to make the video less random, I've looked up some Zack Efron facts to supplement it.
These include:
-his dream job is being a video game tester or playing poker. Because clearly being a moviestar millionaire doesn't let him make choices like that.
-he thinks Pierce Brosnan would play him in a movie of his life. (Really? If we're going older, I would say John Travolta.)
-once, while filming a music sequence for HSM2, a desk fell on his foot and it got swollen. heh.

Quote of the Day:
"On Career Day in high school, you don't walk around looking for the cartoon guy."
–Gary Larson

Out where the fields are warm and dry

I have recently discovered letterboxing – a sort of orienteering game where someone hides a container/box in a public area and leaves clues for other letterboxers to find it. These clues can be found online or through word of mouth.

Inside the hidden letterbox is a notebook which the finder stamps with his own stamp. It also contains a stamp which the finder uses to make a mark in his own notebook.

The photo at the top isn't a letterbox; just a mailbox that I thought was funny.

Quote of the Day: "There is a curious paradox that no one can explain: who understands the secrets of the reaping of the grain? Who understands why spring is born out of winter's laboring pain, or why we all must die a bit before we grow again?"
–El Gallo, The Fantasticks

now or never

Quote of the Day: "What was obvious, however, was that this large, wet animal, making strange hissing noises and gnashing its teeth, was intent upon climbing into the Presidential boat."
--Colin Powell

Yes, I just discovered the Carter "killer rabbit" incident, whereupon Jimmy Carter's boat was attacked by a swamp rabbit while he was boating. His White House photographer captured the thing on film, but he was still made fun of by his staffers. This sounds like an episode from The West Wing that no-one would buy.

"The President confessed to having had limited experience with enraged rabbits." haha.

homeward bound

All my thoughts come back to me in shades of mediocrity.


I should have realized when he asked, repeatedly, if I was smart – if I could pick things up quickly.
"Are you a fast learner?" he pressed.
"I have no patience for slow learners," he added. Or something to that effect.

I assured him that I was the brightest, sharpest crayon in the box. I was a month and a half into an extremely dry job hunt, and I was far beyond my natural reticent reaction to questions of this sort.

"Well, I have a stack of resumes, many of them have law office experience," he glanced at his computer. "But I'm going to stick with you."

And I was hired. None of the usual, "We'll get back to you in a few weeks after interviewing other prospects," crap. No stalling, no hesitance. He took me at my word.

Turns out he forgot to ask if I was magic. Turns out the answer to that question would have been "no." Because, no, I couldn't read the unfinished questions in his mind. And, no, I couldn't memorize the entire filing cabinet after one glance. And, no, I can't locate the unlisted phone number of a person with only a name.

I'm reluctant to compare myself to the girl in "Devil wears Prada" because you'd have to read the book to really understand what I mean, and the comparison is a stretch. But that's the analogy that clung to my thoughts throughout my work at the law office.

To be fair, I wasn't only expected to do magical tasks. Some of his requests were perfectly mundane, facile, and only slightly brain dead. Heating up his lunch, filling his water bottle fetching cokes and coffees, constantly dialing phone numbers and sending them through. The list goes on.

The previous were examples of why I didn't enjoy working there, and had a huge factor in my decision to leave. As I told a co-worker, "This isn't fun-time for Siobhan." Let's be clear. I'm not overly idealistic: I know that no job is perfect, and I'll probably have problems with every craft I put my hand to. BUT, I also know that I've worked for people who I have respected and admired. I studied for four years so that I would options available to me; options in fields that are important to me.

So even though I have no money, and decidedly dubious prospects, I'm glad I quit. It was a negative environment and I didn't want to get caught up in questionable activities in a climate of disrespect.

All that to say I'm unemployed again, and I'll have loads of time to look up useless information for this blog.

Quote of the Day: "Most people want security in this world, not liberty"
~H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956

Not me. I wanted my freedom. :) But the idea that most people prefer security is really scary. So many people work solely for a paycheck, because money = stability and normalcy. But your job consumes the majority of your time and cannot help but shape you...there's so much more to it than a paycheck.

screwed up eyes and screwed down hairdo

This was not the picture I envisioned accompanying this blog entry. I was looking through my photos for a picture of kids getting up to mischief, and this one made me laugh so I chose it instead. (It took us a looong time to get her up. Ah, coordination.)

Life Lesson: If you haven't been around kids for a while, you forget what they're like.

They aren't human. They're going through a very carefully structured, society-friendly program to teach them how to become human. But until then, they are visitors, newbies, aliens, who are intrigued by the world around them and often don't pick up on social cues. When you meet a rude/bizarre adult, he/she obviously didn't have the rigorous training necessary for entering the world of humans.

To illustrate the importance of child training, I was going to retell the story of a couple who only taught their baby klingon and had it taken away by Social Services (which I sympathize with, as this frequently happened to me on SIMS). I couldn't find the story online, apparently it was some sort of prevarication/myth. (If it's not on GoogleNews, it didn't happen, right?) So I've linked it to a different, equally bizarre, klingon occurence.

Funky Word: Perfidious. It means "treacherous/disloyal," according to Barron's GRE book. Snape's diabolical action was perfidious in every sense of the word. (Go read book 6 and 7 to check veracity).

Smashing Story: A carrier pigeon is faster than internet in South Africa. Basically they tied a data card to a pigeon's leg and sent it to another city, where the information on the card was downloaded. The entire pigeon process took a couple hours (including an hour of flight). Telkom, the internet carrier, had only downloaded 4 percent of the information in this timespan. (This story is a couple weeks old...but so entertaining.)

Quote of the Day:
Joon: He can really cook, can't he?
Benny: Uh, yeah. Although for grilled cheese, I mighta used a wool setting.
Joon: That's what I told him.
Benny: Really? What-what did he use?
Joon: Rayon.
Benny: Mm.
Joon: Silk would have been too soggy. Cotton would have...
Benny: Would have burned it.
Joon: Right. Fortunately, he consulted me before giving it steam. I was four square against it.

–Benny and Joon

This was after a scene where Sam, a quirky Johnny Depp character, makes grilled cheese sandwiches with an iron. It's a terrific movie.


I just realized I never completed my thoughts on children. Basically, two of my roommates are elementary ed majors doing their student hours, I've been volunteering with kids at a local school, and we've all been coming home with "guess what" stories.

Guess what Adolpho did yesterday? He told Ricardo that his (Ricardo's) mom "jiggles." Some sort of "your mom" joke variation? These 4th graders make comments like this and I always want to laugh. I told Adolpho, as sternly as I could, that his joke was inappropriate.

I just need a stick.

some dance to forget

Apparently biff is the new bff. How does this make me feel? Old. Yes. But that's how high school girls refer to their best friends now. I wonder if Ugg boots are out too.

I don't need to dance to forget (see title) because I'm pretty sure I'm entering a stage of life that'll fade my memories like unscrapbooked flower petals. My roommate Jess and I have an ongoing joke about the last year of beauty. There has to be a last one, and we're nervous that it might be 22.

Me: "22 could be the last year of beauty. What hot 23 year-olds can you think of?"
Jess: "..."

What a marvelous illustration that was. But seriously, in the past week I was called elderly (by a professor talking to freshmen), I overheard a conversation about 23 year-olds being too old
and I listened as my sister Hannah (hi!) freaked out when she suddenly realize I wasn't 20. (And really, the math on that one isn't hard. I've always been four years older). It doesn't help that I work with a bunch of elementary school kids who have no gauge for age and probably think I'm in my 40's.

This all has to do with unemployment because there's nothing like an overload of free time to give perspective on how fast life goes. I know that sounds paradoxical, but it's true. When you're really busy and working hard, you don't realize life is passing you by until it's gone.

When you're sitting at home all day, you have hours to reflect on the nature of time. (Time wasted? You tell me).

On my last post I got a request by Hannah (hi!) to do a rant on "silly Disney girls" or some such similar epithet. She wants me to complain about how they make scads of dough off of minimal talent when thousands of people are unemployed. As much as I want to please and appease my readers (all 3 of you:)), I cannot do this rant because I disagree with the principle.

I'm not going to complain if Disney has tapped into a way to sell their stars like products. On the other hand, I am bothered that Americans have chosen to idolize these semi-talented starlets in lieu of really genuine talent. Honestly though, if nothing else, those kids have charisma. I would rather rant about Bernie Madoff (actually I wouldn't, but you get the point).

Today's Funky Word: Potentate. It means monarch or sovereign. (thanks Barron's GRE book!) I think I would be quite the impressive potentate. Maybe I'll pull a Grace Kelly. Although I think it's already been tried (but his looks were too sad).

Today's Life Lesson: According to Wikipedia, the phrase "Stone broke" refers to a "craftsman's stone bench being broken if he failed to pay his debts. (Robert L. Shook, The Book of Why, 1983)" It sounds made up, but if it's on Wikipedia it must be true. (wiki and oprah = infallible.)

Today's Quote: "It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating."
--Oscar Wilde, The Model Millionaire.

And Wilde quote number two:

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."

Wilde is simply too clever. I was actually looking for a quote of his from "The Picture of Dorian Gray" that I loved, but I couldn't find it. It was on the tragedy of old age. I think I'll have to go re-read the book.

A very good place to start

The dealio: I'm a recent college grad with scads of free time because I'm very, very unemployed. I've created this blog to chronicle my (non)adventures as I job hunt and find untelevised ways to focus my time.

My topics will range from random, to reader-inspired, to job/careery.

Life Lesson for today: How to pronounce the name Siobhan. How do you pronounce Siobhan? Simple, it's "Shi vaun." Most of the time I tell people it's pronounced like the material chiffon, except with a "v" sound instead of an "f." Turns out folks are less tailor friendly than you'd think--many haven't heard of chiffon, so I have an image here:


It's a sheer fabric that can be made from lots of different types of materials.
check:

The Fashion Blog

Anyways, the name Siobhan is Irish Gaelic, and I'm biding the time until I can move to Ireland for a couple of years just so I don't have to deal (people have moved for worse reasons) with blank stares, requests to spell it, and, my favorite: "But that's a black person's name."

Today's funky word: Sybarite. Sybarite means "lover of luxury," according to my Barron's GRE book. Kind of similar to an epicurean, except a little more hedonistic. Sorry, I know that's a lot of Greek:)

Today's quote: "Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator."

Niiiice, right?