Today'sSmashing Story is for Emma Cole. A 22-year-old was caught smuggling snakes into Norway by taping them to his body. Underneath his clothes he had 10 pythons taped to his stomach, and 14 geckos taped to his legs (well, why not?).
And our Funky Word is: fugacious. It means momentary; fleeting; ephemeral. Peder got a fugacious thrill as he taped the snakes to his body, which later completely disappeared as he was strip searched.
All my thoughts come back to me in shades of mediocrity.
I should have realized when he asked, repeatedly, if I was smart – if I could pick things up quickly. "Are you a fast learner?" he pressed. "I have no patience for slow learners," he added. Or something to that effect.
I assured him that I was the brightest, sharpest crayon in the box. I was a month and a half into an extremely dry job hunt, and I was far beyond my natural reticent reaction to questions of this sort.
"Well, I have a stack of resumes, many of them have law office experience," he glanced at his computer. "But I'm going to stick with you."
And I was hired. None of the usual, "We'll get back to you in a few weeks after interviewing other prospects," crap. No stalling, no hesitance. He took me at my word.
Turns out he forgot to ask if I was magic. Turns out the answer to that question would have been "no." Because, no, I couldn't read the unfinished questions in his mind. And, no, I couldn't memorize the entire filing cabinet after one glance. And, no, I can't locate the unlisted phone number of a person with only a name.
I'm reluctant to compare myself to the girl in "Devil wears Prada" because you'd have to read the book to really understand what I mean, and the comparison is a stretch. But that's the analogy that clung to my thoughts throughout my work at the law office.
To be fair, I wasn't only expected to do magical tasks. Some of his requests were perfectly mundane, facile, and only slightly brain dead. Heating up his lunch, filling his water bottle fetching cokes and coffees, constantly dialing phone numbers and sending them through. The list goes on.
The previous were examples of why I didn't enjoy working there, and had a huge factor in my decision to leave. As I told a co-worker, "This isn't fun-time for Siobhan." Let's be clear. I'm not overly idealistic: I know that no job is perfect, and I'll probably have problems with every craft I put my hand to. BUT, I also know that I've worked for people who I have respected and admired. I studied for four years so that I would options available to me; options in fields that are important to me.
So even though I have no money, and decidedly dubious prospects, I'm glad I quit. It was a negative environment and I didn't want to get caught up in questionable activities in a climate of disrespect.
All that to say I'm unemployed again, and I'll have loads of time to look up useless information for this blog.
Quote of the Day: "Most people want security in this world, not liberty" ~H.L. Mencken, Minority Report, 1956
Not me. I wanted my freedom. :) But the idea that most people prefer security is really scary. So many people work solely for a paycheck, because money = stability and normalcy. But your job consumes the majority of your time and cannot help but shape you...there's so much more to it than a paycheck.
Today's Smashing Story: An immigrants rights group is upset about one of Target's Halloween costumes. I really love the green card--it kind of pulls the whole outfit together.
Yes...It's been a while. Turns out I'm not great at daily blogging, but it doesn't really matter because I GOT A JOB! So, no more unemployed musings on here. From now on it will be the thoughts of a savvy, impressive, employed office manager.
I'll be working in the office of Rafik Kamell, a local lawyer who liked me enough to hire me right after the interview.
To compensate for my missed cultural experience, I'm listening to Pimsleur's Guide to Egyptian Arabic as I write this. Next time there's a festival, not only will I be there, I will be there with curiously strong Arabic skills. (Hopefully all Arabs in the OC are Egyptian.)
On a strange note, I was researching children's books for Laurel Elementary School and I kept getting distracted by the bizarre books available. One was titled "Little Toby and the Big Hair," which was awesome because my ex-roomie (Emma!) is dating a guy named Toby. Another intriguing title was "A Pig Named Perrier."
The Amazon description for "A Pig Named Perrier" goes like this:
For a potbellied pig, Perrier seems to have it all: "a rhinestone-studded harness, a jaunty sports cap, and special piglet-sized dark glasses." And with his movie-star owner Marabella, he even gets to live in a luxurious nursery in a luxurious mansion, "a place as posh as it was plush, and spic as it was span." But Perrier still can't get over the gnawing feeling that something's missing from his squeaky-clean life, "an emptiness in the pit of his little potbelly."
I thought it sounded amazing and started reading it. I then got self-conscious over being distracted, once again, by a book aimed at 7-year-olds. On the whole, it was an enlightening experience and I'm giving the point to Enjoyment.
Current tally: Unemployment:1 Enjoyment:1.
Today's Funky Word: Yella. This is a really common Arabic word that means "come on" or "hurry up!"
In lieu of a story and life lesson, I'm going to stick a small sneak peek of "Baby, it's Cold Outside," performed by me, Hannah, Steve and Eydie. (Yes, I'm the man. Yes, I look like a creeper.)
