there ought to be clowns

I discovered Hanford this weekend.

and rediscovered hammocks

and crepes

and monks

and Seinfeld

and hot, humid nights.

**

I discovered party time last night.

and rediscovered laser tag

and hats, masks, helium balloons, bubbles

and cake princesses

and friends

and about a million movies that I want to watch.

**

I watched Capote a couple weeks ago. It's a non-fictional account of journalist/writer Truman Capote, following his process of writing "In Cold Blood," his masterpiece; a groundbreaking hybrid of fiction/nonfiction. Basically it's the true story of the murder of an entire family in a small town in Kansas -- Capote was intrigued by the incident, and spent more than a year interviewing people who had known the family, and the two murderers.

Capote shows how Truman befriends one of the murderers to get his perspective of the events. He becomes emotionally involved in the story and the eventual execution of the two criminals; wanting them to die while feeling guilty over his manipulation and the criminals' high opinion of him.

I read the first half of In Cold Blood and found it atypically gripping for a murder plot. Reality makes a difference. He described the family in vivid detail; their interactions, their hopes and dreams, their personalities.

The daughter, Nancy, was this beautiful, bright, selfless 16-year-old who had daily written in her diary for three years. She was still discovering herself, traversing the identity confusion of teenage years with curiosity. She still hadn't decided on her handwriting style, and the handwriting in her diary entries was constantly changing as though she was trying to find out which was hers. Apparently she handwrote a school project and changed her lettering in each paragraph (switching the slant, etc.) and the teacher handed it back with a comment on the inconsistency, to which she responded that she wasn't old enough to have a signature handwriting.

In Cold Blood's exposition entirely consists of this sort of intimate detail, and it reads smoothly, drawing into the characters and their lives until the reader forgets it's a setup for a horrific murder scene -- one that actually happened.

That's why, when you read the few sentences about how Nancy was found lying in bed, head towards the wall, killed by a shotgun at short range after being tied up, you don't read it like a news story. It's not just another unfortunate victim. It's Nancy, who brushed her hair 100 strokes every morning and night. Nancy, who won prizes for her pies at the fair every summer. Nancy, a girl who was still deciding what angle she wanted her handwriting to slant.

While it doesn't read like a news story, it certainly doesn't read like fiction, for the simple fact that it is not invented. (And truly, what novelist would set up his characters so lucidly for half a story, only to destroy them.) Reality can be so much more powerful when thrown into creative formatting. Creativizing can be overly dramatic (see first section of this post) but also adds certain dimensions and knowledge.

In Cold Blood is clever, well-written, exploitative (at least in how it was created), and disturbing on a Schindler's List, Hotel Rwanda, The Last King of Scotland, how can humans treat each other like this sort of level.

This has turned into a pseudo review, which is possibly unfortunate. I don't know whether to recommend the book to my readers, but you probably know.

I didn't finish it.

**

Undeleted Texts:

I love you! And just wanted to tell you I have decided to try to start dating the tattoo guy to maybe get a discount! It seems logical.

That was from 2007. She was half serious about it.

The inventor of LSD died today. I'm listening to psychedelic music in protest.

Still makes me smile. And now I want to hire people to protest my death. Maybe picket my funeral. Yesss.

**

Small Talk Question:

What's scarier: Being unsure if a dream was reality or being unsure if reality was a dream?

**

Fainting goats...they literally get so excited they fall over. Their knees simply lock and down they go. I think humans should have more interesting physical reactions when they're excited. Maybe turn a different color or start levitating. Imagine sports arenas after a big game – everybody levitating with happiness over winning or anger over losing. Ooh and if you take your girlfriend and she doesn't levitate it means she was lying about being into the Lakers. Definitely dump her. Or feel flattered. Or do both.

Although I suppose if you wanted to fake it you could just start thinking of something that actually enthused you (ie. girlfriend at Lakers game might start thinking about getting her nails done and she levitates and it looks like it's over the game but it's not). That could introduce a whole new element of manipulation.