Friday, May 28, 2010

Well I'm all grown up now, can you still help somehow?

Today's Article: An Existentialist Firefighter Delays Three Deaths. Here's a pullout quote: "I'm no hero," Farber said after rescuing the family from a house fire on the 2500 block of West Thacker Street, and prolonging for the time being their slow march toward oblivion. "Like any other man, I am thrown into this world, alone and terrified, to play a meaningless role in an empty life. In my case, that role happens to involve charging through towering blazes to pull helpless individuals from a sea of flames before they suffocate or are burnt alive."

What a great guy. I love how heroes never claim to be a hero. It's like the mark of a hero to deny his greatness. Or to say that he was actually freaked out the whole time, and that he's no different than anyone else. Je pense donc je suis type stuff. I'm sick of it. Just lie, okay? Just tell us that you would die for your honor and you've conquered fear and that you have never succumbed to temptation. Maybe living that type of facade would be a more effective inspiration than the denial of being anything special. A human hero (attainable) who is beyond human (inspirational).

Today's Life Lesson: The son of a duck is a floater. This is a rough translation of an Arab proverb. We had that book sitting in our living room my entire life, and I never stopped to think what exactly it meant. I've just now realized it means something along the lines of "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." That took me 22 years. Yup. And then there's the "Guess what I heard? Sheep, because I'm a shepherd," joke that took me foreeeever to get.

**

BCLC has been lacking in blog fodder recently. This is mostly because the head of the center is now constantly in the room, and the kids are all terrified of her. Because not only will she yell; she will yell at one kid personally for five minutes straight, reasoning, berating, and guilt-tripping.

Andrew has stopped calling me "Fraulein Stewart," which is pleasant. Although, he did build a little sign with "Unfairness!" written on it, which he dedicated to me after I kept pushing his work to the bottom of my pile.

Jake, my spastic dancer with the big cheeks, has been sent to Korea for some pretty serious medical reasons. His older brother Brian keeps saying how nice it is that he's gone. I'm almost positive he misses him though (or I just really, really want him to. Possible.)

Brian has also started telling me how much he hates his dad because he demands so much and never lets him do anything except work. I told him that his dad just wants him to succeed. I'm hoping he was exaggerating – from what I've seen, BCLC parents love their kids excessively. Part of that means enforcing a very strong academic work ethic, but the children are still fun-loving and goofy, which points to a reasonable amount of play time.

Anyways, when I told Brian that his dad just wants him to do well, he said that at breakfast that morning his dad had told him that it hurts to look at him. I didn't have a lot of context on that one.


**

In high school, I read "A Semester in the Life of a Garbage Bag," which was probably written for nine year olds. Age level aside, it was recommended to me, and was a really great read. It's about a couple of boys who choose a poet to study for a school project. The problem is, they find one of his poems at the last minute and turn it in for the first assignment. Afterwards, they go to look for more of his poetry for the rest of the assignments, but find out that he died in a freak accident immediately after publishing his first poem. (In fact, he was at the bank, cashing in his 15 dollar pay check for the poem when he was killed.)

So the boys decide to make up the rest of the poems. I've put them on here because I believe they deserve to be shared. I wish this was my book. (The first one is poet's, the rest are the kids'.)

Registration Day
by Gavin Gunhold

On registration day at taxidermy school
I distinctly saw the eyes of the stuffed moose
Move.


Fruit Fly
by Gavin Gunhold

Due to the tragically short life span of the average
fruit fly,
College is not really an option.
Caps and gowns don''t come in that size anyway.


Industrial Secret
by Gavin Gunhold

The oil companies don't want you to know
That the average car will run on
Consomme,
If you can figure out a way
To get the parsley out of the carburetor.


Group Therapy
by Gavin Gunhold

When my psychiatrist went insane,
Only six of my multiple personalities
Were cured.
The rest of us want our money back.


The Bargain
by Gavin Gunhold

After the hair tonic saleman's toupee fell off
He decided to lower the price.
So I bought six cases.
A bargain is a bargain.


Household Security
by Gavin Gunhold

As a positive step against crime
I bought a watchdog,
And am training him personally.
This week we study full contact karate.


Green Thumb
by Gavin Gunhold

To make sure my apidistra gets enough carbon
dioxide
I'm reading it
THE GREAT GATSBY
During the boring parts
The leaves turn brown.

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