all the music of the spheres and still it's your voice I hear

Maira: "5th grade math is so hard. I hate it."
me: "Wait 'til you get to 9th grade."
Maira: (rolls eyes) "What grade are you in?"
me: "What grade do you think?"
Maira: "9th?"

This was one of many beautiful conversations I undertook with dozens of seven to 12 year-olds today. Guess I'm not old meatloaf yet, because – yes – I look like a 14-year-old. I know I put the thought in her head, but still.

I'm starting a running tally of enjoyment vs. unemployment, and giving a point to unemployment for this conversation. Current score: Enjoyment 0, Unemployment 1.

Life Lesson: Sarcasm is lost on children. Lost or purposefully ignored. Either way, it's not the best behavioral correction method.

Adolpho (throwing green slimy thing at window): "Can I break the window?"
me: "Yes, Adolpho, I'll give you permission to break the window."
Adolpho: "Sweeet!"
me: (walk away and leave real teachers to deal with him)

Smashing Story: There are "Hitler is still alive" conspiracy theorists out there. Kind of like the Elvis hopefuls but more cynical. My favorite line in this article is: "(This is) the point when Hitler conspiracy theories lose touch with reality altogether." This was referring to a theory that Hitler escaped to a secret Nazi base on the moon using hidden rocket technology. I'm all for a good conspiracy theory, but it needs to be plausible enough to really annoy someone in an argument.

Funky Word: Calumny. It means slander (and so does traducement, apparently.) This word is a pain to say, but interesting to write.

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Something that is fun to do with children is play Taboo. I'll never forget playing countless Taboo games with my cousins and Aunt in Boerne, Texas.

Auntie B: (frantically trying to get my cousin Bridey to guess the right word). Okay, when mommy goes on road trips, she gets really unhappy unless she has...?"
Bridey: Cymbalta!
Auntie B: (faintly horrified) No!

Oh yes, that was priceless.