flipping your fins, you don't get too far

What's the name of the restaurant?

His text reply was prompt.

Vapiano. By Zara.

Zara. A reasonably priced Spanish clothing store that reminded me of shopping at a branch in Oman. Shopping. Ammadeus.

Hey, where's Zara?

Her reply was to be expected.

Are you going SHOPPING without me?

No. Chris and I are meeting some babysitting parents for lunch. The restaurant is near Zara.

Oh. It's in Kungsgatan.

I hopped off the metro at Sergels Torg, the city center, and started walking in the direction a bus driver had pointed at when I asked for Kungsgatan.

There it was; Zara. I kept walking. And walking and walking. After I had thoroughly covered the area around Zara, I called Christophe.

Fun Conversation 1:

"Hey, I'm near Zara but I can't find the restaurant."

"Where are you?"

"Um. In a flower and fruit market. There's a giant PUB sign."

"What?"

"I took a right after Zara's."

"Why would you take a right after Zara's? He said 'Go right past Zara'"

"I tried that and it didn't work, so I figured maybe I should turn right."

"Okay, go to the Maxburgare." (Maxburgare = Sweden's version of fastfood.)

"I don't see one."

"Do you see a McDonalds?"

"Yes."

"There's a Maxburgare across from the McDonalds. Do you see it?"

I was far away, but I thought I saw the telltale red markings of a Maxburgare.

"Yeah."

"Okay go there and I'll meet you."

**

Naturally, we soon discovered that we were at a Mcdonalds in two different parts of Stockholm, near two different Zaras. Neither of us could see Vapiano, our restaurant destination. I hopped a bus to Kungsgarten (where he was) and called him for Fun Conversation 2.

He picked up with, "I was wrong. I just spoke to the guy we're meeting and it is in Sergels Torg, not Kungsgarten."

"Great. Well I'm in Kungsgarten now."

"Okay, I'm here too. What do you see?"

"Umm...an H&M?" (This is like saying you're near a tree in Ireland...or a Starbucks in LA.)

We discovered that we were both near NK, Sweden's version of Saks Fifth Avenue; a giant, classy clothing/everything store. We decided to meet under the big NK sign a la Sleepless in Seattle. This led to Fun Conversation 3.

"Hey. I'm under the NK sign."

"I'm under the NK sign."

"Uh, no you aren't. I can't see you. I'm under the sign. It's a huge NK."

"I know. I'm under the huge NK sign."

"Like right under?"

"Well, I'm a bit to the right."

"What right?"

"Like, looking out from NK's viewpoint, I'm to the right."

"Okay, stay there. I'll come."

Naturally, we finally figured out that there are two huge NK signs, about 30 feet apart – the very distance, it turns out, that removes the other from sight.

**

We arrive 40 minutes late after discovering a 3rd Zara within the same two mile radius. Apparently Zara is a big hit here? This was the type of comment we used as we profusely apologized to the man, woman, and four toddlers who were waiting for us.

We then continued on to Fun Conversation 4.

CH, the father we were eating with, asked Christophe what he was doing in Stockholm. Christophe told him about his tutoring/babysitting/housesitting jobs. I decided to pitch in.

"And he's writing screenplays!" This was true, and I thought it made him sound pretty cool, like a struggling writer.

"Oh really? What kind of screenplays?" CH asked.

Christophe smiled, "Oh, you know..."

"Horrific ones," I chimed in. I meant to say "Horror ones"– Christophe has written a very dark, disturbing story about a serial killer which I thought was really well done. Possibly not great conversation fodder for a first meeting with a babysitting client. Other, better topics, might have been his comedies

Oops.

**

Classic Monty Python: