lay you down in six feet of ground, 'cause we were born to raise –

Try explaining "tacky" to an English speaker. Then try explaining it to two eight-year-old Swedish girls who don't know the months of the year in English.

This is what I ended up with (after many faces and half started sentences):

"It's like if you go to a birthday party, and everyone brings beautiful gifts. –– Do you bring gifts on birthdays here?"

They nod.

"Right, and everyone brings a beautiful gift, but you bring a stick."

They giggled.

"Kind of like that."

I told mumsi and Ammadeus about definition.

"But that's not what tacky means!" Ammadeus said.

"I know! But kind of. And how would you do it?"

Mumsie chimed in: "Read them "Tacky the Penguin!"

"That's what I was doing! That's what got me into this!"

**

Inevitably confusing explanations aside, Tacky the Penguin is a marvelous book. It follows the adventures of Tacky, a back-slapping, funky marching, belly-flopping penguin, and his friends Goodly, Lovely, Angel, Neatly and Perfect.

**

"So how are you liking Sweden?" This is one of the first questions I get when people learn that I'm a foreigner (the moment I open my mouth) and fairly new to the country.

My general response is "Oh I really like it here, it's so beautiful." True.

If they ask more questions, I delve into my appreciation for the extensive public transportation, the glittering lakes, accessible nature.

"If you like it that much, why are you leaving?" They never ask this question because I never tell them that I'm planning on heading out in the Spring. It would be a fair question though.

**

Ammadeus is 17 and in her final year of high school. She is at a Swedish school, and constantly makes silly complaints about how it's hard to understand concepts in Physics and Higher Math when taught in Swedish. Apparently the symbols used in the math here are the same but have different meanings. What a complainer.

She keeps changing her mind about college. And when I say "changing her mind," I don't mean the way normal people do it – getting enthused about an idea for a few days and then switching to another one.

No, she gets dead set on an idea and dives headlong into researching and understanding it. First it was chef. She bought cookbooks, started making recipes from scratch, set up a profitable homemade pasta business, and researched the New York Culinary Arts school.

Then she decided Neuroscience. She would be a doctor and help people. She constantly brought up questions about the function of the brain, and came to dinner with the weirdest facts. She declared it as a desired major on all of her college applications, and chose schools with appropriate programs.

Two days ago, she announced that she wants to go to business school and has to rewrite all of her essays extolling the merits of neuroscience.

The problem is, I can't make fun of her. Well I can. But six years up the road and I still daily change my mind.

**

I'm currently tutoring a 4 year old named Buster. This is very difficult for me, as I am a huge Arrested Development and have certain, indelible, associations with the name. Also, maybe name the dog Buster and name your kid Jack.