but he spoke braid scots, when he courted me

Today's Smashing Story: Is a NYT piece about an online store retailer whose business strategy is to be rude to his customers. No, not silly Dick's Last Resort rude – more like Hannibal Lecter, graphically threatening emails, 3 am phone calls, messages with photos of the customer's house, rude.

After initially hiring a company to post positive reviews about his site to clear its image, Vitaly Borker discovered that negative reviews were actually more helpful to his revenue – the reviewers negative comments and links caused his site to be placed higher in Google search results, attracting more customers.

Or, as the article quotes him: “I never had the amount of traffic I have now since my 1st complaint. I am in heaven.”

I'm wondering if this guy has an extreme form of Empathy Deficit Disorder, or if he's a psychopath, because I'd like to think that most people wouldn't inflict severe psychological damage on strangers without some sort of mental issue.

I don't really buy into EDD – I think it's not a disorder and not necessarily a "childhood" thing. It's probably a symptom of lots of different conditions (possibly including certain personality types).


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I had a friend who had a "one date" policy. Basically, she would go on one date with any guy, the rationale being that everyone deserves a chance to prove himself. This made for some interesting stories, and a bunch of 2nd date rejections.

I do not have this policy.

If I know I'm not interested, why waste his time and money? If he's somehow going to change my mind, I doubt one date would do it. Maybe if he wrote me a symphony. Someone once told me that upon meeting a guy, a girl immediately knows if she would ever date him. I think, on a subconscious level, this might be a fairly accurate generalization. This doesn't mean she will immediately say yes, but she might eventually agree to seeing a guy who is on the subconscious "possible" list. Guys who are initially placed on the "never" list, have an extremely slim chance of getting off of it.

And guys who try to pick you up after meeting you once? Personally, not interested. I, and many girls I know, have what I call a "context complex." We need a context – we need to have hung out a few times, shared a class, work together, etc. and gotten to see you interact in a few situations.

"I understand the courage it takes to walk across a room and try to generate a relationship out of thin air," (Hitch), but I'm not going to date a giant question mark. Even a cute one. A company won't hire an employee without asking for references and doing a background check – think of context as a relationship background check (seeing as it would be unromantic to literally ask for references.)

Naturally, all of the above spiel is based on me/my friends, and it's probable that many girls would differ in opinion. Also, I'm perennially single, so mine may not be the best approach out there.

Maybe when I'm 34 and scared of being 35 and tired of people asking when I'm going to meet someone and sick of asking the mailman for help opening spaghetti sauce jars and through with folding sheets by myself...maybe then I'll break down and try to fall in love with a guy I've never met and am not interested in. Maybe at some point it has less to do with a person than a lifestyle and a desire to have a warm, living, being to bounce thoughts off of, who tells you he prefers your voice to Barbara Streisand's, and who smiles at you when you pronounce archive with a "ch."

Until then, I'm happy with my context complex.


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I thought this video was great, mostly because I love minesweeper, but it's such a pointless game.