i need help believing you're with me tonight

The girl I was tutoring today told me about her fear of the dark, scary movies and haunted houses. I made fun of her until I remembered that during college my friends and I would do scary movie nights where we pushed couches together, fought over good seating (not on the crack), grabbed each other and screamed throughout the entire movie. Except Shawnie. She always laughed.

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Aside from tutoring Swedish children in English, I tutor a few American boys, usually helping with their homework (mostly Math and Science). Today I had the pleasure of reading "Lancelot the Gigilo" which the ten-year-old had written for English class. The assignment was to write an editorial defending the position of Lancelot as a Gigilo or a Giant. Fun times.

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Amadeus walked into the kitchen as I was eating dinner tonight and announced that she was sick of having trivial conversations. Instead, she wanted to use cards with pre-messaged answers to hand out to anyone trying to talk to her.

"Aren't 70% of your conversations dull and taxing?!" I told her no, only the ones I had with her. She found this extremely witty and amusing and took everything back. Or something.

**

On It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Dennis, one of the main characters, explains his system for dating women. It's called the Dennis System, and he describes how he used it on his latest conquest.

The Dennis System

D: Demonstrate Value. He does this by pretending to help a fake sick grandmother.
E: Engage Physically. Yes, this is step number 2.
N: Nurture Dependence. He makes threatening anonymous phone calls to the girl so that he can then go to her house and tells her he will protect her.
N: Neglect Emotionally. He stops talking to her completely.
I: Inspire Hope. He calls her and apologizes profusely, telling her he had been scared of how strong his feelings had been.
S: Separate Completely.


Sunny is Christophe's show, which he occasionally convinces me to watch (by telling me I remind him of Dee. And a bird.) After this episode, I couldn't help complain about what ridiculous jerks the characters always are. Christophe told me to think about all the relationships I or my friends have had, because they probably followed this system pretty closely. Maybe in Missouri Christophe.