i have to close my eyes until the color goes

The above video is terrific.

**

Yesterday, the house phone rang at midnight. I was alone in the front family room, utilizing the wireless that is markedly absent in my own room.

Is it my parents calling from their room? I was skyping with Shawnie, and neither my Skype voice, nor my Shawnie voice are of moderation. No, it wasn't my parents.

"Hello, this is Post One at the Embassy. Is everything OK there?"
"Yes. Why?"
"We received notification that your security alarm has been tripped. Is everything alright?"
"How am I supposed to know?" This was not said with an attitude – I was genuinely worried. It was late, and I had just heard stories about professional robbers in one of the nearby suburbs.

I had also just watched a movie which I should actually not be allowed to watch. In it there was a deathly game of hide and seek in the main girl's house. I was alone in the family room, right next to the hallway with the front door. What was OPSEC protocol for figuring out if there was an intruder?

Post One wasn't terribly helpful. "Well I don't want to wake your parents. Please call back if there are any problems and we'll send the local police over."

This sounded like terrible, awful OPSEC to me. Didn't I get the kind operator who tells me in very calm details what to do and how well I was doing it? I quickly asked him for their phone number which was, naturally, about 15 thousand digits long. I didn't think to ask for the emergency number in Sweden.

A security alarm has been tripped. And now this thought was tripping my brain. I walked in pitch blackness toward my room at the back of the apartment. A light was on in Christophe's room, and I poked my head in, warning him of our plausible imminent danger.

He gave a slight smile. "Oh. That must have been me. I pressed a strange button while looking for a light switch, and was wondering if it was a security alarm."

"Oh."

Yes. There are secret triggers everywhere. I spoke to my mom this morning and she didn't seem surprised.

"I forgot to tell you, there are all these alarm buttons around the house." Surprise!

Apparently my mind thinks it's a horribly good idea to freak out about completely safe situations and ignore actually problematic ones.

I'm just glad I haven't gone around pressing all the alarms – because I have noticed some pretty neat looking buttons.

**

I was once asked if I would push a button if I was alone in a room and told not to push it. I really, honestly don't think I would. Sometimes I'm very good with authority. And, again, I've seen a film in which every time a button is pushed, someone dies.

It might be a matter of time. If I was alone for years, I might eventually go crazy and push it, but I don't know if that counts because it's not really my choice at that point. Or maybe I would pull a John Locke and become obsessed with guarding the button. (Okay, so the situation is reversed. Still.)

**

I can quantify the length of my moral fortitude. It's about 35 minutes. After that I stop caring quite so much.

A few nights ago, there was a bee in my room at 3:00 am. I'm not a fan of mindlessly killing bugs. I don't know where I picked the idea up, and I'm not PETA (please click the link) crazy, I just think it's harsh to kill something because it's tiny, annoying, and there are a bunch of them. (I'm refraining from chihuaha comments right now. You're welcome, Auntie B.)

**

Someone once asked me why tearing the wings off a butterfly was wrong, but squashing a beetle was fine (or something to that effect). Is it all about comparative beauty? And just because we personify our animals doesn't actually mean they have more of a personality than bugs...

I think maybe it's more about natural lifespan. We don't feel bad about killing something whose only purpose is to breed and die in a few days. (Though some spiders live up to 20 years...) So I suppose they don't have time to develop personality.

**

Anyways I decided that instead of killing the bee, I would chase it out the window. 35 minutes later, I gave up and smashed it with a pink flip flop. Even after watching it rub its little face with its little appendages.

So, yes. 35 minutes and you've got me.

Guinness Link: World's Tallest Man.