they're like the real world meets boy meets world meets days of our lives

My father chose the wrong family for his career. I suppose he only has his genes to blame. Still, a few of us have suggested that he utilize a separate, representational family, for various family-included functions he has to attend. He treated this suggestion as a joke, "Haha how witty we all are," but, like most humour, there is much truth to be found.

Today our family was invited to fika (Sweden's version of afternoon tea. But it's coffee. They're obsessed) with an ambassador and his family. Or, as it turned out, a foreign ambassador, his wife, and their DCM. No children. Except, of course, the four giants in our family.

Eventually the conversations diverged into their natural directions: the men discussed politics and history, the wives discussed the women's clubs in Stockholm, and the four offspring had our own quiet conversations which ranged from biology to adult content to gender roles.

**

Highlights from our fika conversation:

Ammadeus (my 17 year old culinary sister) lectured me on her newfound knowledge of viruses. I'm not going to give anything away because she has promised a guest blog, but it's exciting stuff. In her virus speech, she went through the qualifications of life (reactions to surroundings, transference of energy, etc.), including reproduction.

"You aren't alive! You haven't reproduced!" she exclaimed and laughed hysterically at her own genius.
"Well then you aren't alive," I protested. "You haven't reproduced."
"I have reproduced! I've created many poop babies." Nice. At the ambassador's residence.

Ammadeus staring at me as I looked across at the foreign dignitaries:
"I see your profile! I see your profile."
I quickly turned to her, but it was too late. "I can still imagine it!"

That's the scary thing in life: you have no control over the imagination of others.


Ammadeus: "They just had this conference to define pornography, and they finally came up with 'We can't define it, but we all know what it is.' Hahahhahaha." (she is easily amused)
me: "Like love."
Ammadeus: "Like life."
me: "You've already defined life."

**